Chloe: Returning home to Just Be
CREATING A NEW NORMAL
Interviews and original transcription by Loisse Ledres | Co-written with Elise Blauuw
“2020 burned down everything that I knew.”
Before the pandemic, Chloe was society’s definition of success. Former high school Valedictorian, now a graduating senior in college, studying abroad and working relentlessly on her film studies.
“I had a strict seriousness towards everything in my life. I wanted control in my studies, my creative work, and my relationships.”
Her plans for post-graduation were to get a film internship and spend the rest of the year traveling the world. Instead, she ended up traveling back home to her tiny town and returning to a family structure she didn’t fit into anymore.
“I felt boxed in with [my family’s] expectations and simply picking up after other people. My body was trying to transition into ‘stopping’.”
But eventually, her workaholic lifestyle gave way to something restful and rejuvenating.
“Moments where I drank tea and looked outside my window, took my dog for a walk, lit a candle in my room, laid down to meditate... The growth I’ve experienced has taken time, effort and lots of introspection.”
She reconnected with the carefree and playful side of her younger self and found new inspiration in the small town she’d never wanted to return to.
“I realized I needed that familial feeling again, [that] humility in comparison to a big city where everything goes by so fast. I had to stop myself from saying ‘I need to get out of here’. I had to face why I always wanted to leave.”
Her storytelling evolved, taking inspiration from her family members, childhood town, and memories of her upbringing.
“I even found old childhood videotapes of when I was a kid in the Philippines. The discovery of my carefree 5-year-old self really changed the way I perceived things in my life today. I was inspired by my younger self's ability to just ‘be’.”
Coming out of the pandemic, Chloe no longer wanted to owe her life to the hustle. After 2020 burned Chloe’s belief systems to the ground, it would take months of picking through the ashes to realize how many things had only been good for kindling.
“I am so dubious about hustle culture. It never sat right with me. 2020 showed me all the ladders in our society, while also showing me the ladder within myself.”
Now she’s found new opportunities for creative fellowships that foster her own unique form of storytelling, and she hopes to inspire others to join her in planting seeds for something new.
“The grass is greener wherever you choose to water it. I am planting seeds of growth [for] what I want the rest of my life to look like.”
- CHLOE
Chloe’s upcoming projects
chloesamillano.com | @chloe_wankenobi
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READ MORE ABOUT CREATIVES CREATING A NEW NORMAL:
This project is part of the Creative Wildfire project, an artist grant funded by Climate Justice Alliance, Movement Generation, and New Economy Coalition.
